say hello to goodbye
by AliceMitch09
Summary: there can actually come a time where being rejected multiple times can lead to an unlikely trauma.
1. Chapter 1

**summary:** there can actually come a time where being rejected multiple times can lead to an unlikely trauma.

 **a/n:** just running around with the idea. It's my first time to write a fairy tail fanfic – been dying to write one actually, and gruvia to boot! God bless that ship. dedicated to **BonneyQ** , who is my absolute favorite Gruvia writer, alongside with **randomteenager**. you guys should check out their stories. tho, this one will never be as amazing as theirs.

* * *

Her azure hair – free from the binds of her hat – flew against the gentle breeze, tickling her cheeks. She paid no mind, tucking her chin deeper into her knees as she kept her eyes forward.

She was just staring at the river, watching how fast the water ran and split into the rocks.

The water was clear, and cool.

So blessedly cool.

She could see it, and she could smell it to testify her observations.

She smiled a small smile.

It sure was nice to be around her element, giving her the comfort.

Sadly, it wasn't enough to ease the pain inside.

The tears started anew, she fought to keep them in, blinking rapidly as she took a sharp breathe and looked up.

Around her, the sky was dawning on. She's been there longer than she should.

She thinks she's had enough – she always thinks that, only to fall back when the hope for tomorrow burns.

But this time, it's for real.

Or so she'd like to believe.

The tears fell before she could stop them.

She was only human after all, and even she had her limitations.

Juvia just never thought she'd see the day she'd do this – give up her feelings.

She felt the urge to laugh, bitterly. But she slapped a hand to her mouth, the tears streaming down her face seemed to be enough.

Her feelings that were – what, according to him? _Shallow and immature_.

Not to mention, that it "broke to the point that tested her sanity and resulted to stalker tendencies"

Those words only wounded her deeper than she'd thought.

She can't believe how much she's let those words slide because she looked at the bright side, tomorrow was another day and things were likely to change.

Tomorrow.

Change.

Funny words that she held on, only to be empty, disappointing.

Falling backwards, with her back against the grass, she covered her face with her hands as sobs began to escape her mouth, tears falling in a rush.

The rain should have come by now, her emotions accentuating with her magic. But with practice restraint, the rain didn't come. Purple was beginning to win over orange.

She didn't want to alert anyone of her distress.

This was one thing she wanted to handle on her own, especially one so personal and sensitive.

She decided, she needed a break from all this.

She wanted to get away.

She knew it was selfish, but at the same time, it was selfless.

The final act of her love.

* * *

The next day, Fairy Tail was its usual rowdy self.

But Juvia Lockser was nowhere to be found.

When asked of her whereabouts, the barmaid – Mirajane, would say that she took one of the S-class missions. The ones that took years to finish, without the assurance of ever returning.

However, when Juvia requested to take it, both Mira and the Master couldn't say no to the look they saw on her face.

There was determination, and there was an empty void.

Eventually, they gave it to her. She wouldn't leave until two days to alert the historians of her coming.

But Juvia, already geared and ready, took off without even saying goodbye.

The mission she took was an investigative research in Teardrop island, they needed an elemental mage – specifically, a water mage, because they may be looking into their long-lost civilization.

It was the first mission she found that immediately piqued her interest, and for good reason.

Long-lost civilization about water mages?

It sounded like a fresh start.

After all, this mission could help build herself from the bottom-up. It would take years, but she didn't mind.

In translation, _I'm going to find myself. Please don't look for me. I'll be back when I'm ready._

* * *

Rain poured that morning, washing away yesterday's demise.

When Gray Fullbuster woke up, he felt his chest clenching painfully.

He didn't know why as he looked out his window.

 _Juvia..._


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: this wasn't supposed to happen. and I'm supposed to be writing an article for my internship, and this idea was spawned by the fact that I happened on my notes of a different fic then decided to use it, and because I wanted more angst with this beautiful ship. just figured i'd give this a conclusion.**

 **By the way, the events are just an idea of Juvia's origin. I used it on my other fic – The Last Song.**

 **caution: I have no idea what I have written, I just let my fingers flow. Rated M, but not explicitly.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

 **[EDITED 051916]**

* * *

Five years.

Five years since she left.

Had it really been that long?

Then again, she _did_ take an S-class mission. Missions like that are no easy feat, giving that it took nearly half a year to ten years to complete it. He should know, it always took Erza, Mirajane, Laxus and even Gildarts that long.

But really, Juvia? _She_ took up a mission?

Why?

He wanted to ask- no, he wondered _why._

He stared at the foam of his beer, its tiny bubbles reminding him of the water mage. He wondered where she was right now, how was she doing, and she was ever coming back. She _should_ be back.

 _He missed her._

He really did.

Not a day passes by without the bluenette haunting him – those cat-like eyes, her warm smile, cerulean locks like the ocean. Her serene voice, her sweet laughter, her warm hugs – he missed them all.

But now…

Sighing deeply, he took the drink into his mouth, letting the contents burn his throat. He leaned his head back, his thoughts scattering amidst the jovial noise brought by the guild.

He remembered what he said, the last time he saw her. He remembered the look of absolute heartbreak in her eyes, how the light died in those eyes. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

He didn't mean for it – it was practically a routine, but that time, it was different.

The next day, he was told that she was gone.

Mira said she took up an S-class mission on her own.

For days, he awaited her return. He had so much to say to her.

But then, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months.

And five years later, she never did come back.

* * *

He decided to take up a mission, tagging along with Natsu and Lucy. With the couple around, he felt like a third-wheel even with the blue exceed around. The two were so lovey-dovey, it was almost sickening.

And for the most part, in the first time of his life, he was actually jealous of seeing them together. How nice it must be to have a significant other.

Erza once told him to tell Juvia straight-up of his feelings. She was his age, but with a complex – and almost estranged, relationship with Jellal, but was proven to know better when it came to this. She was the closest thing he had to a sister, so of course she'd worry about him. So of course he'd take her word for it.

But after that, he treated Juvia as always – cold, uncaring, one-sided.

Because he was cruel, he chased her away.

Because he was selfish, he hurt her feelings.

Because he was insensitive, he failed to see her break each day.

He wondered, as he stared out the window, if he had told Juvia of his feelings, would she have run away?

* * *

When they arrived at the island, they decided to rest up, having travelled nonstop for hours. They had been travelling for days.

Although it was a small island, it was lively and alive.

Upon entering the town, he could have sworn he saw flash of blue. When Lucy asked, he said it was nothing, but kept his eyes out anyway.

After checking in, Gray fell into his bed while staring at the ceiling with thoughts of flashing blue in his head.

* * *

A flash of blue caught his eye, this time, he was sure it was her.

Without a mistake, it _was_ her.

"Juvia…"

They were in the town market, purchasing some supplies. Her blue locks stood out among the crowd. Surprisingly enough, she was dressed out of her combat gear and into more comfortable clothes. She didn't look like she was on a mission; it just looked like she was shopping.

Breaking away from his companions, he followed after her in hurried footsteps. He so badly wanted to see her face.

She turned, unaware of his nearing presence, to a fruit stand.

Five years may have passed, but Juvia looked like she hadn't aged at all, she was still so beautiful. As the old man handed her a bag of apples, she laughed at something he had said. _That laugh,_ it was like a melody. She was about to leave only to stop when their eyes met, widening in surprise.

Those eyes, how he missed them.

"Y-You…"

He took a stop forward, determined to ask her what she was doing here, until she dropped her apples and began to run.

"Juvia, wait!"

* * *

Juvia lost him by the port, turning her body into water as she threw herself into it. Swimming to the boats, he hid behind one of them, to lookout.

Out he emerged from the market, looking around. Her eyes didn't leave him, as he asked around. When he turned to leave, she leaned against the ship.

She reached for her chest, fisting her hands when she felt the familiar rhythm of her heart – suppressing the pain, the feeling.

After all these years, he could still make her heart beat.

As a sob broke out, she clamped her mouth.

After all these years, just the sight of him could still break her heart.

* * *

Questions filled his head the whole walk back to the inn. Determined to get the answers from her, he quickened his steps to his room, knowing one person who could track her down.

"Natsu!"

"Ugh?" said dragon slayer looked up, boredly.

"G-Gray!" Lucy gasped, running up to him. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ignoring the blonde's worried gaze, he turned to the pink-haired dragon slayer, who had his arms cross with a frown on his face.

"I need your help…" he said in between breathes. Natsu's frown deepened. " _Please._ "

* * *

When she saw them, she had wished to make a run for it but decided against it. They were all here, they found her. Even _him._ Lucy, Natsu and Happy were surprised to see her, even him. She pretended not to see the anticipation in his eyes.

"They said you took up a mission."

Deciding for the two to talk, they sat beside each other by the river. Juvia hung her head low, not wanting to meet his eyes. He hated that, the gap between them.

"Yes…" she said quietly, listening to the water gushing. He ask for her to elaborate, but she felt the need to now that he's here. "Juvia was to aid historians about a lost civilization, they needed a mage with elemental magic. She volunteered," tilting her head to the side, she said more. "and as it turns out, my magic was perfect. The lost civilization was about water mages. It took almost a year to finish the mission, and before I knew it, I…" her voice faltered, as if keeping up the words. She swallowed. "…I didn't want to leave."

That was a truth and a lie at the same time.

What she didn't tell him was that she didn't want to go back to Magnolia, to see him. She risked leaving everything behind just to avoid him at all cost.

She didn't want the road to self-discovery to be over.

But she didn't need to tell him that.

"Why did you leave?" he dared to ask, quivering. He gulped down nervously, afraid of her answer.

Closing her eyes, Juvia leaned her head back, inhaling deeply. Her cerulean hair flowing against the wind like waves, how he longed to touch them.

She contemplated with answering him, but she figured, if he knew, he'd leave her alone. Besides, it's what he's always wanted.

"You wanted me to."

She'll always be a member of Fairy Tail, but never again to be Gray's Juvia.

* * *

Gray returned to the inn with a heavy heart, Lucy and Happy's questions falling deaf in his ears.

Had he really hurt her that much? Was he really that insensitive?

He sat on the edge of his bed, shoulders sagged with defeat.

Natsu stared at him quietly, arms crossed, disappointment in his frown.

* * *

A few weeks later, they were at the port, just ready to leave.

Natsu was already dreading the trip back home, Lucy lovingly attended to him while Happy laughed at the dragon slayer's downfall. Gray, on the other hand, was silent.

Ashes fell from his fingertips, down to his boots. The smell of nicotine did little wonders to comfort him, but it was what he needed.

Juvia didn't even bother asking how long were they staying, she wasn't going to return with them anyway.

He wished – so damn hard, that she'd come home with them.

But he broke her, and that's what makes it difficult.

* * *

In all these years, she chose to reside by the sea, with a charming view of the coast and the city. After the mission, she found herself asking for a permanent job with the historians. They happily obliged, seeing as to how they enjoyed her company and that a mage as powerful as herself can act as a bodyguard in the process. She was handsomely paid. Yet, she chose to reside in a simple house far from the city and even farther to the port.

The clock read 9:03 pm.

She was sure that by now, they would've reached Swanport city, and were taking a train back to Magnolia.

The moon was full tonight, illuminating the waters along with the dusty silver stars.

As she stared out her window, while the breeze tickled her skin, she can't help but wish she had never met him. If she did, she would never feel this way, to feel this pathetic, and to think so low of herself. If she had never met him, then she might've found happiness elsewhere.

But, if she didn't meet him he wouldn't chase away her rain.

If she had never met him, he wouldn't show her the light.

If she had never met him, she wouldn't be in Fairy Tail.

If she had never met him, he wouldn't make her believe in love–

There was a knock at the door.

She turned to it with a frown, who could it be at this hour of the night?

Closing her window, she slowly headed towards the door, bracing herself for whoever it may be.

A voice in her head told her to close the door immediately. She almost wished she didn't when she was face-to-face with the last person she'd want to see.

"G-Gray-sama…"

He was panting, heavily. He was leaning one hand against the doorway, keeping his eyes on Juvia. With the help of Natsu, who reluctantly but eventually helped, he was able to track her down. There was something in his eyes, they were burning. It scared her.

"W-Why are you-"

"Aren't you going to let me in?"

Albeit, surprised, she looked hesitant at the same time. She bit down her lip in contemplation, the wait was killing him.

Eventually, she let him in.

He didn't say a word as he entered. She didn't either when he suddenly launched himself at her, claiming her mouth with his. With his tall, strong frame, he pinned her against the door. The desperation evident in the kiss. She tasted like the sea. He tasted like cigars.

When he broke away, he cupped her face and lifted it to his, their foreheads touching.

"I hope that's more than enough to prove to you how much I've missed you these past five years," he leaned in closer, their noses touching. "of how sorry I am."

Juvia's eyes were blurry with tears, disbelieving this.

"I've already forgiven you, but-"she sniffled, looking away. But he forced her to look back at him, the look in his eyes were making her weak. The fire burning in his eyes makes her want to say more.

Shaking her head, she breaks away from him. But he catches up to her, holding her arm, twisting her to him. She refuses to look at him.

"Juvia,"He presses his forehead against hers once more.

"I'm scared of having my heart broken again."

Gray stared at her, incredulously. Juvia was openly crying now.

He smiled, wiping away her tears and cupping her face. Leaning in, he kissed her eyes, cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and eventually her lips.

The kiss was slow, but it was full of passion, it held everything Gray had been bottling up for the last years he's missed her. Through the kiss, he conveyed the feelings he's long kept from her since time immemorial. With his touch, he assured her that he was sincere with his feelings and that this was real.

Breaking away, Juvia hadn't realized that she was lying in her bed with Gray above her.

He smiled at her, a genuine smile.

She allowed herself to smile back, caressing his face in her hands. He leaned in, kissing her palm before slipping his fingers behind her back.

* * *

"I'm sorry," he said against her shoulder the morning after, their hands never letting go. "I was young, immature and selfish…"

Juvia smiled, her head resting against his arm, watching their intertwined fingers. "Juvia forgives you."

"You always forgive me."

"Because I love you," she turns to him, gently touching his jaw as she kissed him lightly.

He stared back, long and hard. The words he said were the last thing she expected to hear from him, even though he's said it last night through throngs of passion. But he was sure with his feelings, honest even. Which is why she decided to come back home to him, with him.

 _"I love you."_

Love does conquer all, she thought with a smile.

"Let's go home, Gray-sama."

After she said those words, his smile grew. In a blink of an eye, he was above her, pinning her arms above her head. She laughed; it was sweet music to his ears. He smirked. Out her window, the sun was rising, slowly bathing the room in bright orange, bathing them in ethereal glow.

"Tomorrow."


End file.
